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Current Music:Breaking Benjamin - You
Current Location:Room with concrete walls.
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Subject:Long time old friend
Time:02:12 pm
Current Mood:depresseddepressed
I have not updated this journal in almost a year. I can't believe they have not deleted my username. So sophmore year of college is here and two weeks in im ready to pack up and go home. Everyone I know has left or lives off campus. My parents never seem to be satisfied with my progress and are just pushing hard and harder. My friends have moved to columbia and for the first time i feel seriously depressed. I hate sitting here at school not doing shit. Im getting a peice of paper that says, "hey this guy took all this bullshit and payed a shit ton of money to get this peice of paper so have some pity and give the fucker a job." I feel so fucking useless, all i do is smoke and drink and the normal bullshit. I can't do this shit too much longer without breaking down. I do not know what else to type, so im logging off.
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Current Music:Dispatch - Railway
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Subject:Updating is Hard
Time:05:20 pm
Current Mood:hungover
For some reason updating is hard...
So I finished the first semester of college, it was alright. I am back home and back to work. Call me if you want to do anything.
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Current Music:Red Hot Chili Peppers - Otherside
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Subject:Finally Updating
Time:02:43 am
Current Mood:contemplativecontemplative
Once again I have not updated in a while. I guess I have been busy with unimportant things. It has been a little over a month at college now. I have finally grasped the concept of actually having to do homework and studying. Suprisingly my grades are not bad, however college is boring. I was thinking of changing schools after this year, but im not sure if its becuase i just hate school or if I really like Mizzou better. Friends have slipped away once again, cutting old relationships and forming new ones. People are pretty relaxed down it here seems, but I feel its only becuase most of them are in a drunken or stoned haze most of the time. In comparison with the summer I don't even drink anymore. I have drank three times and one of the times I only had two beers. It is wierd, drinking used to be like a second job, sad to say I know. Times have certainly been changing and at the moment for the good. I am going home this weekend for the second time since I have been down here. The first time I did not really go home I just hung out with friends and slept in a room that did not even feel roomy anymore. It made me think of the movie Garden State. When zach and portman are in the pool Zach talks about how home does not even feel like home anymore. Lately I have found this so true. My dorm room seems like a place where I sleep and spend time but the security and happiness that the feeling of home brings does not reside within these walls. Same thing when I go home. My room seems to be an empty shell of what it used to be, and memories of that room have already faded. Anyways not a lot going on at three in the morning so I thought I would update the journal. Ill be updating a lot more now so for all you die hard tehimage journal fans, I think there are maybe three of you, I have returned. And heres a though to live by, "You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life." - Albert Camus

And yes I am still on my journey to become and intellectual, It is just taking a little longer than I thought.
Oh yeah if any of you want a good read you should pick up Dantes Divine Comedy. It is really interesting, and if your going to buy it in books start with inferno.
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Current Music:Goodnight, Good Guy - Collective Soul
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Time:03:43 am
Current Mood:depresseddepressed
Why is everyone so fucking fake ?
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Time:03:36 am
Alright so I am in college now. It is fun but I miss my old friends. Especially CJ. Going to classes smoking cigs like none other and done a little drinking. Tiredness kicks in around 3 or 4 am now and sleep doesnt seem that important anymore. The food here is good though. There is a rifle club that im gonna go to tomorrow with Leibee.
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Current Music:none atm
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Subject:woot
Time:02:40 pm
Current Mood:deviousdevious
got a new laptop, its chillin. Just got off work and its saturday. I can not play wow anymore becuase my laptop is gay and wont support it. Other wise its an awesome laptop. Not much has happened since i have updated. I went on a 2 week family vacation. My boss took away my full time because im going off to college soon. My car broke down that was awesome. My dad fixed it, took him a week and now i owe him 200 dollars for the parts labor and tow bill. Ill be updating a lot more seeing as to how all i can do is toll forums and use aim and dl music. Maybe a little cs here and there but whatever. I <3 dewkee and im talking to him on aim right now. He has tickets to the muny tonight the little shit. Anyways i like animals and im out.
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Current Music:System of a Down - Chop Suey!
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Subject:so tired of this
Time:09:55 pm
Current Mood:depresseddepressed
So tonight I went to a graduation party for a girl named Kelly. We were kind of friends. First of all I just can not stand rich people anymore. After 10 years of West County, I am ready to leave. Ready to leave and to never come back unless to visit friends of family. Tonight the drama continues. One of my good friends Tim went out with Kelly. He did not feel the same way about her so they split. Ever since then they talk shit about him behind his back. So tonight I got fed up with it and just told him to his face. RANDOM DRAMA BETWEEN THE GRILS AND KELLYS WEST COUNTY FRIENDS OCCURS. Anyway the moral of the story is, if your rich don't bitch about it. Im so tired of hearing the complaining from rich people who have a secondary bathroom downstairs that is nicer and bigger than my parents and my brothers and my bathroom put together bitch about how they have to go to paradise for 2 weeks instead of being able to stay in town and shoot fire works off for one day. WTF!!!. I am ready to get the fuck out of this place and go to springfield. I am ready to find new friends who have morals and good judgement. And I am ready to experience adult hood without adults keeping me down. Depression has kicked in and everything is changing but I am not. Not yet...
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Current Music:Foo Fighters - Best of You
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Subject:wow
Time:12:14 pm
Current Mood:sicksick
God damn its been a long time. Since I have updated i have graduated high school and started working full time for the summer. Hanging out with friends getting drunk. My parents finally know that I drink and they did not even care it was wierd, but it is cool at the same time. Got a car, 88 ford escort lx manual. Hell yeah. As sad as this is, it is true because it describes me.

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don't end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn't worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you'd ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn't have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing 'serious' between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: "oh, but we're just friends!" And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you're nice like that.

THE NICE GUYS DON'T OFTEN GET CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE. AND PERHAPS MORE DISTURBING, THE NICE GUYS DON'T SEEM TO GET LAID AS OFTEN AS THEY SHOULD. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can't. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as oh, "He's too nice to date" or "He would be a good boyfriend but he's not for me or he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn't possibly ask him out!" or the most frustrating of all: "No, it would ruin our friendship." (BlazeSquall Note: This is utter Bullshit. It's often worth the risk. And it's our choice too). Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can't figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I'm going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn't last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you're sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

The sickness is curable :)

Cept it takes time........
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Current Music:A Perfect Circle - Rose
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Time:04:43 pm
Current Mood:blahblah
Im so tired. Winter break totally fucked up my sleep schedule but it was fun. Some drunkness and some highness. It was good, it was good. Back to school again. Got to skip 3/4 of the day today becuase i had to go to the dentist. Yup yup thats about it. Havent done anything with kevin in a long time gonna see whats up with him. Peace easy.
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Time:09:34 pm
btw i dont know how to spell scotch skotch whatever fuck dictionarys.
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Time:09:33 pm
skotch skotch skotch skotchy skotchy skotch i love skotch... oh sorry were on the air. Good evening this is Ron Burgandy. I love that movie. In other news got drunk had some cigar made an ass of myself became freinds with some new people and got a boombox. thats all
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Current Music:Static X - Kill Your Idols
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Subject:update!
Time:02:59 pm
Current Mood:boredbored
Been a while. Have not really been busy just never got around to doing this. Ever had a time in your life when your just bored. I don't mean just bored but i mean like completely bored with life. Only times im really not bored is when im abusing substances and going to partys. THERE IS NOTHING TO DO IN FUCKING CHESTERFIELD. Sure i could be a fag and go hang out at the mall or some gay shit but i would just be bored there. Plus you cant go to the mall and not spend money, at least i cant. Oh well gonna try and find something to do. I have been playing a lot of wc3 lately but its starting to lose its appeal once again. Thought about installing d2 again but i know i would just play it for 10 minutes then never play it again untill i got really bored and then repeat the process. Gonna call some people and try and find something to do. Parkway is the only people on winter break right now so i cant hang out with any of my marquette friends. Hopefully they will need me tomorrow night so i can get some more work time in, plus i enjoy work so it will give me something to do. Peace Easy.
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Current Music:chevelle - Vitamin R
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Time:12:20 am
Current Mood:tiredtired
Some learn; many do.
Cover up or spread it out.
Turn around, had enough,
Pick and choose or pass it on.
Buying in, heading for
Suffer now or suffer then.
Its bad enough
I want the fear...need the fear

[Pre-Chorus]
Cause he's alone (where have we gone)
He's alone (where have we gone)

[Chorus]
All without making it and your pushing it and your leading us along
The hassle of all the screaming fans the had it makes when its most

After all, whats the point?
Cause levatation is possible.
If your a fly; a cheating gun.
Theres time for this and so much more.
Its typical, come write a world
A special place of my designs
To never cope or never care just use the key

[Pre-Chorus]
Cause he's alone (where have we gone)
He's alone (where have we gone)

[Chorus]
All without making it and your pushing it and your leading us along
The hassle of all the screaming fans the had it makes when its most

Over and Over a slayn
Became
Over and Over a slayn
Became
Over and Over a slayn
Became
Over and Over a slayn
Became

[Pre-Chorus]
Cause he's alone (where have we gone)
He's alone (where have we gone)

[Chorus]
All without making it and your pushing it and your leading us along
The hassle of all the screaming fans the had it makes when its most

[Chorus]
All without making it and your pushing it and your leading us along
The hassle of all the screaming fans the had it makes when its most
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Current Music:Tool - Parabola
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Subject:ARR
Time:06:18 pm
Current Mood:pleasedpleased
Subject: Bauer

Status: Hired

Awating Assignment



TEH G MAN AWAITS GREEN PORTALS YAY!!!!11one11!!!two
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Current Music:Riddlin' Kids - I Feel Fine
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Time:02:19 pm
Current Mood:goodgood
Got an interview today with mcallisters deli. Fucked up my back at target. Need some of matt's back pain medicine. Gonna go soon enough. The first book of a series of unfortunate events was not bad. It was not a really good book but it held my attention long enough to see what would happen next and how it would turn out. Just a new series i need to finsih reading. Peace easy
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[icon] Thousand of usless words form useless images
View:Recent Entries.
View:Archive.
View:Friends.
View:Profile.
You're looking at the latest 15 entries.
Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 15 entries